So here I am waiting for Matt to get up so we can have a "talk". He is all pissed off at me, and I'm not sure why. He claims that it isn't the house. But why then do I have the feeling that when we sit down thats all I'm going to hear about?
Yes my house is messy. But yes I have a 4 year old and a 9 month old. What does he think is going to happen? I spend most of my day chasing after them. I don't get much cleaning in. I wish I was obsessive and just cleaned all the time so that my house was spotless. But I'm a slob and trying to break a lifetime of habits is hard. I do try. I worked last night from when the kids went to bed until I was so tired that I couldn't stay up any longer doing laundry and dishes and straightening up. I will keep trying, but it will never be spotless. I will forget. I will just stop for a while. But I try. I really do. But that doesn't seem to be enough. Also I think he is mad at me because I made him go to the dentist. He was all mad because I made him go. But he has to go because his teeth are horrible. If he hadn't gone, he could have an absessed tooth and if that got into his blood stream, well theres some hospital bills we can't afford and he could even die. But he doesn't care. Maybe I should just let him get sick and die.

Ok quick subject change:
My 9 month old just stood up all by himself for the first time! And he stood there for a couple of seconds!! Not holding on to anything! How cool is that?!

Anyway back to my rant on my husband. So Yesterday, I couldn't say anything without pissing him off. So finally I just stop talking to him because he can't get mad at me for something I said if I don't say anything to him. And just before he leaves, he wants to talk about why he is mad. But not right that second because he has to leave for work. Well why the hell did he bring it up then?? So I can sit and stew about it while he is gone? He is so frusterating. Well anyway. Now I get to sit here and wait until he feels he wants to get up (I've stopped waking him up because I really don't want to be around him right now and besides he is a big boy and if he feels he wants to be responsible, then great. I'm tired of babysitting him). Oh I guess I should let you know he works nights so he usually doesn't get up until about 1 in the afternoon. Anyway. Thats my rant. All over the place and bitter. I can't type coherently when I'm mad. Hopefully this will all blow over by this afternoon.